Seeing things from both sides...

Sitting on the SPED side of the table, your job has numerous parts. Most important, of course, is helping the student to succeed in the classroom. In addition, however, you need to make sure the parents understand what is happening with their child and how they can help them at home and school.

Ironically, I was actually pretty good at that second goal. I sat in meetings and clearly explained the various diagnoses, translating what the doctors and therapists said into concepts the parents could easily understand. I was also full of useful advice about things that they could do at home. I told them how to set-up morning routines and other changes they could make that might help their child. It was all so clear and simple as I laid it out.

Part of me wants to go back to every parent with whom I ever spoke and apologize. In the last 2 months we have received an incredible 3 page "sensory diet" for CJ detailing how to regulate every aspect of his life. We also have received suggestions for additional support, the latest being a trip to a nutritionist who specializes in working with kids like CJ. She'll help us figure out if there are any dietary factors contributing to his behavior and work out a diet for him to follow. Have I mentioned the neurological-psychological evaluation we're supposed to be getting? This is in addition to the weekly visits to a psychologist for play therapy and the extra OT we're starting outside of the school next week.

Don't get me wrong, I truly appreciate all the input and know that it will help. Craig and I are both committed to doing whatever we can to help CJ integrate fully into a classroom setting, as are most parents. I just wish I had understood more clearly how overwhelming everything can be on the parent-side of the table. I thought I did, but I was wrong. And the impact is not just on the parents, which is often completely overlooked. CJ's brothers will be spending their Monday afternoons in the car driving him to different therapists and then waiting until he's done, because paying for all the therapy leaves no money for childcare. Balancing what's best for CJ with what's best for the family is a hard line to walk, and we actually have it fairly easy compared to parents dealing with issues like autism.

So what could I have done differently? I'm not sure except listen and try to help more with figuring out the logistics of it all, but maybe that would be enough. The challenge, of course, is that that would take time. Meetings with parents tend to be well-orchestrated affairs. There is often a lot of information that needs to be presented and decisions made with not much time in which to do it. Meetings come at the expense of time with students and we try minimize that impact whenever possible. Again, our primary goal is helping the student and that needs to remain our priority.

And at the end of the day, I do think the best thing we can do for the parent is help the child. That is not a little thing, as I can attest. For me, knowing that CJ is going into a classroom every day where he is happy and completely supported is an amazing gift. Still, when I end future meetings by asking "do you have any questions or need any help with anything?," it will not be a formality but an honest inquiry based on a willingness to listen.