The Reality - The MDT Meeting

As MDT meetings go, it was a good one. Everyone was there almost on time and the psychologist did a good job of explaining the test results. I was particularly encouraged to see both C.J.'s teachers taking notes throughout and to see their nods as something the doctor said resonated with them.

At one point she noted that we needed to be careful because his verbal skills might mean that he is able to parrot back the words of an idea they say to him without actually understanding what it means. His teachers simultaneously went "ahhh." It was one of those lightbulb moments you see often in these meetings, when a teacher or parent suddenly sees a pattern of behavior or interactions in a whole new way. As a SPED teacher, they are moments I value because it means that people have not only heard the diagnosis but are starting to act upon it. As a mother, it reinforced my belief that we have been lucky in the teachers with whom we are going through this process.

The team accepted the diagnosis of a Nonverbal Learning Disability and agreed to pursue additional testing as suggested by the doctor. C.J. will have an IEP that provides counseling focused on social skills and specialized instruction to help with some academic issues. Everyone will now go away and think about what exactly he needs and we will reconvene next week so they can present their goals and we can finalize the IEP, including the number of hours he will receive.

This is where the realm of the perfect and reality collide. It would be great if C.J. could have 1 to 2 hours a week of work on social skills, but is not feasible. He will most likely receive 30 minutes a week at school and we will look for a social skills group outside of school as well. His teachers have also been working with him on his interactions with others and will now have new strategies to use with him which I'm sure will help.

The hardest part of an initial MDT meeting is often when it's over and you realize it is not the end of the problem but only the beginning of solving it. An evaluation or IEP does not make the problem go away, although it would be nice if it did. You get all this information and come up with a plan for how to help the student and everyone feels great. Then you go home and he does the exact same thing he did yesterday that drove you crazy and, guess what, it still drives you crazy. Somehow just knowing what is causing the behavior does not magically make it so the behavior doesn't bother you anymore. Often the first few months after identification can be the most difficult for families and teachers because we are suddenly focused on the problem in a way we weren't before and because there is this expectation that everything should be better now that we have a plan. No matter what supports you put in place, it will take time for everyone to see the impact so hanging in there is key.

My solution today? I came home, made a quick and easy dinner, and then spent a long time simply enjoying who they are. We all sat around the table and colored pictures for a book we made, Porkypine Cartoon. We also read two chapters in our latest bedtime book. Well, C.J.'s brothers and I sat while he danced continuously around the room, stopping by occasionally to add some color to our world or ask a pointed question about the story.

But hey, at least he's a great dancer.