"Becca really wants to go this year," said Janine. "Nope, she's not old enough yet," was the firm response from Erica and me. A morning of shopping sounds great to a 12 year old, but the annual Cawthorne girl shopping trip on Black Friday is a tradition to which we all look forward for reasons that have little to do with shopping, something it is hard to appreciate until you are older.
As with most traditions, it had a practical beginning. Janine's kids were getting older and it was easier to buy for them with mom there to point things out that they would actually wear/use. That first year the Friday after Thanksgiving was the easiest time to do it and to avoid crowds we went early (6 am) to Columbia Mall. We accomplished our goal, yes, but that's not all that has had us coming back to it year after year. As our lives have grown more complicated with kids, jobs and significant others, it has remained a time when we know we can be on our own and enjoy each other's company.
We do, of course, shop, although we have pretty strict rules. We don't wait in ridiculous lines (so no electronics or toy stores) and we don't let ourselves get too crazed about what we find or don't find. We walk around seeing what's out there, take coffee breaks, get lunch and talk. We talk a lot. Not about anything earth-shattering, just the kind of conversation that it is hard to have when you're being pulled in a million different directions but which is so important to help you feel connected to others in your life. Even when we aren't all in the same place, we carry on via cell phone what we would do in person.
Most people think we're insane for trekking out when we do, and that's part of the appeal. It means that in a week when every event has to be negotiated so that everyone possible is included, this is one outing that everyone is happy to leave just to us. Husbands, little kids, our parents, all have no desire to get up at 5 am and go to a mall. It gives us a few hours to accomplish a worthwhile goal and to be, not mom, wife, or daughter, but just Janine, Erica, Laura and, for the last five years, Samantha.
Samantha was 16 when she came with us for the first time, after asking for years. I'm not sure she saw the point that first year, we didn't buy her nearly enough stuff for it to live up to her expectations. Still, she's kept coming and it's been fun to watch her grow into the tradition. This year, at age 21, she summed it up perfectly. "It's not really about the shopping," she noted, "it's about the community."
So Becca will join us in a few years, when she's ready. And I'd like to think that when she and Sam have kids and busy lives of their own, they'll still meet us ridiculously early on Black Friday to remember that in addition to all our other labels, we share the one of friend.
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