Silver and Gold

I have mentioned before that I moved a great deal while I was growing up, as in attended 13 different schools in 12 years. This meant that, between ages 5-12, I was moving roughly every 12-18 months either to a new state or a new school district in the same place (the same thing to kids that age since either way you didn't see old friends). There were benefits to this, I learned how to get along with people and adapt to new surroundings in a way many others don't. A skill I can still use. But there were also some negatives, one of the biggest was that I didn't keep childhood friends. At that age, kids connect easily, but most 7 or 8 year-olds are not going to build a life-long friendship in 12 months. I didn't realize it at the time but I came to think of friendship as a temporary phenomenon, here today and gone tomorrow. I tended, in general, not to stay in touch with people once I was no longer seeing them regularly.

My adult life has been a lot less adventuresome, with 20+ years in DC and 9 of those in our Brookland house. It took a while to break myself of this habit of not looking back when I left a school or job, but  break myself of it I did, mostly. And I am happy still to be in touch with people with whom I was in grad school almost 20 years ago (yikes, has it been that long?) and to have reconnected with some people from my first year of undergrad, back when there was a Cold War going on and no one knew or cared who Osama bin Laden was. (Yep, I'm that old.)

I admit, however, that the thought of leaving DC and all those people who had been with me on my first, halting steps into motherhood or who helped us navigate the overwhelming world of DC schools, was a scary one. Recognizing it was not a long trip into the city, it would still take some commitment to stay connected to all these great souls that I didn't want to lose from my life. And it would mean making new friends, which is much harder now than at age 7.

Six months later, the staying connected piece is going fairly well. I'm trying to get into the city at least once a month and people have come out here. Facebook obviously helps and email, but I still miss weekly get- togethers at Cafe Sureia and knowing I'd see everyone on the playground or at bookclub. That ease of friendship doesn't exist when you live an hour away. The new friend piece is also going all right. I'm lucky that a good friend already lived out here (and is actually moving to my 'hood later this month - yay!), so she helped me a lot. My neighbors have also been great and just bumping into the same people at kids' games or school events has helped. I can't say I have many true friends here, but I have met some wonderful people who I hope will be my friends.

Fingers crossed, I might actually have figured out how to heed the advice of the old Brownie song I learned during my year in Brookline, MA (or was it Wichita, KS?).

                                   Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.