Two years ago, I wrote about our annual Cawthorne girl Black Friday shopping trip. It was one of the things I looked forward to each year at Thanksgiving, not for the shopping but for the time spent with my sisters and niece. I am, therefore, sad that we will not be heading out tomorrow for the second year in row. In fact, the trip I wrote about could well have been our last one.
There are lots of practical reasons for not going this year. It is early in the morning and Erica has a 2 month old. Janine is in Hawaii, making simultaneous shopping more challenging, and we didn't tend actually to buy much anymore. I can understand all that but can't help thinking that it would be different if Samantha were still around. Shopping for Sam was never a treat (really, she was horrible at finding anything she wanted), but I loved the chance to hang out with her and talk that this one trip gave us and I hate that we won't ever be able to do that again. It makes what used to be one of my favorite days of the year a little painful and sad.
I'm thinking we need to come up with a new tradition to take the place of this one and I'm sure we will in time. Even then, however, it will be simply another reminder that our lives are forever divided into "before" and "after" the accident that took her away from us. I hate that most of all.
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